It's All Happening (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Many of us who have transitioned will be able to relate to what I am about to write and it isn’t unusual. We speak often about acceptance in our lives, whether others will be offended and thereby avoid us if we step out-of-the-way they perceive us to be, for whatever reason. The problem is that most people, if they were honest with themselves, finding anything out of the stereotypical to be difficult to handle. It is a lack of understanding on their part. People will question what we have done, even directly asking us why we did it as if perhaps we should not have done. They do not realise that transitioning isn’t something that is desired to have to undergo nor is it done on a whim, it is done out of necessity. Transsexual people are born that way. Transsexualism isn’t ‘learned’, it cannot be acquired by association, you either are transsexual or you are not. Being transsexual means being found in the wrong body and having to cope with that. We are expected to live out our lives in the gender others perceive us to be and not the gender we know we are. Often this is a life-long struggle which for some is never resolved, some even taking to suicide to escape the trauma. There are many Internet web sites where information about the condition can be found for those who want to understand. For those more fortunate, their gender issues have been resolved and they are now living in the gender they know is right for them, even to the point of going through gender re-assignment surgery. I prefer to say gender correction surgery for that is what it is. What people do not understand is that the persons themselves haven’t changed, they are still the same person they were at birth with all the same feelings and personality. We cannot change who we are inside, the package we come in may be wrong but the essence which is us will never change. If a child is born without a limb every effort is made to change that using prosthetic means. If a child is born with any other deformity the best efforts are made to ease their situation by use of surgery if possible. Transsexuals are no different except that their problem is gender specific and yet they are often looked upon with scorn. Transitioning is a hard thing to have to do but it isn’t the transitioning itself, it is the reaction and attitude of others which make it so. Those we thought loved us before we transitioned we now find that love has gone and we are ostracised. True love would not allow that to happen. People are afraid to support for fear of what others may say and that really is an excuse. The main problem is that people wish to be accepted and consequently allow the dictates of others to influence them to act contrary to their own feelings. Isn’t it better to support those we love despite what others may say? When my eldest son married I wasn’t invited. I know that was a difficult decision on his part and it wasn’t solely due to him or his wife it was the influence others had over them. My heart was broken at the time and other people told me that I should have gone at least to the church anyway, invited or not. Perhaps I should have done so. Now they have a daughter they plan to have her christened in August (something I don’t agree with but that is their decision) and I would like to attend the church service even if I wasn’t made welcome to the following social gathering but I fear that may not happen. I have been told who would resent my being there and it hurts me to know they would act that way. Some will be reacting because they find it unnatural to them, some will be reacting probably because I was expected to stay married whether I was happy or not (although divorce came later anyhow) and some profess to be Christians, how sad is that? How can they not show love and then expect God to condone their behaviour? So I hope my son and his wife defy the mean and hateful attitudes of others and show a love befitting their faith in God. I pray they will but time will tell.
Shirley Anne
Related articles
- Something sensible for a change (minkyweasel.com)
- Transsexuality – How Biologic Destiny is wrong (renetaxian.wordpress.com)
